des yeux qui font baisser les miens ...

An acquaintance of mine, but a friend to several of my friends, had a very serious drunk driving incident while spending some time off island in St. Thomas. This incident lead to a fractured skull, and a collapsed bladder. She had to be medevaced to Florida for treatment, and fundraising to aid in her recovery began almost right away.

My friend Mariah is stellar at organizing fund raising events, and in the past has organized several for Queen Louise (raising $6500 for the year!). So she quickly organized another event, where she books music performers, poetry readers, and overall cool, creative people (all her friends, but very talented and professional, and all doing it for free). People buy tickets to take part, wine, and raffle tickets for donated items all to raise funds. And I was one of the acts that Mariah booked.

Now Mariah and I share a common affinity for French music, and Mariah is a singer, a good one to boot! So I offered to teach her how to sing Edith Piaf's La Vie en Rose once, meaning the pronunciation, and etc. She took that to mean that I could sing. Au contraire mon amie! I am not a good singer at all!! But by the time she had asked me to sing for Thalia's event, I had already said no to previous ones, and even though I only had a few brief interactions with Thalia, I thought she was a sweetheart, and I wanted to do what I could to help, in any way.

The event was being hosted at Polly's, and all of a sudden the friendly atmosphere of Polly's on the night of the performance began to make my throat feel tight, and my palms sweat. I excused myself while things were still being set up, and walked on the roof of Polly's and jumped onto the second story of the adjacent building to practice before the performance. I was so nervous, that I forgot the tune. The tune to La Vie en Rose, one of the harmonically most recognizable songs in the world! A song I've known and sung since I was 11 years old. I was nervous. It had been years since I had done even any real kind of public speaking.

A few things saved me. My roommate was the MC, and made me feel better about everything, Mariah put me second on the bill (phew! At least I didn't have to wait long!). And I had the beautiful view of the ocean to calm me down before as I practiced next to Polly's.

So I sang my song, and people were kind and supportive, and some guy who speaks French was in the back yelling, Encore! Encore!

I did a little better than I thought I might, surprsing both myself and a few others. I wasn't the best singer ever - far, far, far, from-  but I had fun, and I think others had fun with me ... so it worked out well. :)

Inside Polly's. I <3 that place!

I saw the guy who had saved me at gunpoint there, he was dressed
like a pirate ... AGAIN. I have come to the realization, after several
encounters ... that it wasn't because it was halloween, he dresses
like Captain Morgan (above) every day. That's right folks, I was saved
by an actual LEGIT (well, sort of legit) pirate in the Caribbean ...
so where exactly is my Orlando Bloom, hmmm?
By the way, that's Capt. Morgan at my favorite Deli in F'Sted,
Turtles, <3 that place too!!

The Pier ... which is a part of the view from "Polly's on the Pier"

Little Ones Flying the Nest

Pebbles* is leaving this Friday. Look below for a picture of a chubby little naked bottom in a previous post, and those sweet cheeks belong to her! She's been "my" baby for quite some time. When she's upset, I'm the one she runs to, when she needs comforting she comes to me, when she is tired and "shreepy" she'll come to me. She's off to be with a foster family (a much better situation for her) but it makes my heart ache. I have played mommy for so long, that sometimes it's easy to forget that I am not. It is going to sound really dramatic, but knowing she's leaving has been one of the most difficult moments since I've been here, but I know that a more normal family structure is what she really needs, so my emotions fluctuate, but mostly hover around bitter sweet.
To my sweet cheeks Pebbles ...

I will miss chasing you around the cottage, the van, the store, away from the stray dogs you chase, and diving into the ocean fully clothed to keep you safe. I will miss your sticky hands, and your sweet, wet and sticky kisses. I will miss having to look up and say, "Oh no. Where's Pebbles?" every few minutes, and later find you elbow deep (and sometime face deep) in the toilet. I will miss your sweet little smiles still filled with teeth that haven't come in yet. I will miss being the one to hold you and care for you when you're sick, and when you have a fever. I will miss everyone 'chupsing' their teeth at me for not doing your hair very well. I will miss you nose diving for the crook of my neck when you're "schreepy", and the chubby little arms that you wrap around my neck. I will miss you crying when you see me leave. I will miss you crying out "Molllllly!" when you need me, and "Mommmmmyy" when you really need me. I will miss your little naked body in the tub as you squirm and giggle while I call you my 'little slippery bar of soap'. I will miss the weight of your body on my own as I sing to you in the dark of your room ... and that familiar slowing of your breathing as you drift off to sleep. I will miss every kissed boo boo, every dried tear, and every tender kiss and hug.

I wish I could put you in my pocket, and be that person for you forever. But I can't.

I love you
your mama molly, always and forever.



my sweet, sweet little one.