Wild Picking

Something that I LOVE about St. Croix is that just when you're walking around when the aroma of a beautiful fruit will just surround you ... and all of a sudden you realize that you're standing underneath a wild fruit tree. YUM!!! I just grabbed two beautiful passion fruit the other day (they're yellow here in St. Croix)!

my little Irish cherubs

I suppose that that is how this line of work is ... bittersweet.

Two kiddos recently left us. They've been with us for a while and a family member just recently decided to open their home to these two little munchkins. They weren't told until the day of that they would be going with this family member (a close relative who they love), the youngest of the two, a rough and tumble little 3 year-old was hardly phased before going back outside to play, but my little Siobhon* started to cry when Ms. Shauna (the director) told her.

She wrapped her little 6 year-old arms around my neck burying her head into the crook of my body between my chin and shoulder, her warm tears rolling down her cheeks and onto my neck. Every few minutes as I rubbed her back, she would look up at me, her bright blue eyes filled with worry.

"But Miss Molly, what about all of the wonderful times I've had at Queen Louise? Who will take me to the beach? [close relative] won't take me there because she doesn't like sand in her car! When will I see you again?"

Oh my little Siobhon. She has been my little shadow for as long as she's been with us. I think it began on her very first day. She felt alone, and out of place (as anyone would in her situation), she has a 'funny' name from Ireland that was hard for the other children to pronounce, and despite being born and raised in St. Croix she speaks English differently than the other Cruzan children. Siobhon felt even more out of place because her mother had just recently shaved her head that had once been home to lots and lots of long beautiful dark brown hair making her look more like an Auschwitz survivor than a regular 6 year-old.

The other children would make fun of her appearance ... mostly, her freckles. They would look at them and point one out amongst the others on her face and say, "Are those freck-uhls?" the word would fall out foreign and awkward from their mouths. As if even having to say it put them off.

But I would push up my sleeves and start to count the freckles on my arm, on my face, and the children would point out that one I always forget about above my right eyebrow. Miss Molly has freckles. Also, I told her that my first name is Irish ... just like hers. And we spoke English the same way, and outside when everyone was playing, she would stroke my hair with little chubby fingers and say, "I used to have hair just like this."

Siobhon thought I was pretty cool because of all of that ... and I have to say, I thought Siobhon was pretty awesome herself.

She and I had been reading The Witches together, and her eyes would get big as she lay under the covers in her bed and I told her stories of witches hidden in the corners of England with no toes, no hair, long pointy noses ... and she would giggle with nervous excitement as I would describe exactly how these witches might gobble up little children. She has this active imagination and I LOVED to join in. Imaginative play was my most favorite thing as a kid - who am I kidding ... I'm a writer now ... imaginative play is still my favorite!

Time passed and her hair has grown hand over fist and one of the original teasers became her very best friend, and I even got to play tooth fairy twice! The tooth fairy even had to write a letter explaining it all because she didn't realize how valuable those teeth really are! (which reminds me, my 5 year old ... and Siobhon's best friend just lost her first tooth tonight, and she accidentally threw it away in the garbage ... kids these days ... just don't understand the value of a good dollar ... perhaps another letter is in order ... ;)

Siobhon was just my little angel, and I miss her, very, very much.

Her brother wasn't officially mine ... but he was kind of a harder kid to work with sometimes ... and because I thought he was the beesknees and was less likely to kill him in a fit of frustration ... he was shooed towards me all the time. Oh little Ken* ... he was so sweet. But he would have these little outbursts.

"You're a little f***er"
"When I grow up, I'm going to tear this cottage down!"
"You're a d*** head!"

But after all, he's still only three ... and after a little outburst he still just wanted to be held as he would lay his head on your shoulder and suck his thumb. Sometimes he would pat my back and whisper into my ear ... "You're my favorite mommy." (he says that to three of us ... what a player that Ken! ;) ) You had to watch out though because he had lost some of his previous potty training and was prone to 'springing a leak' on the people he was snuggled up to. He didn't go to school, and so he was always my little bud, along with Pebbles* and the three of us loved to go and play at the park, and as I would push Ken in the swing he would stretch out a little arm and say, "Miss Molly! Miss Molly! I'm touching the sky! I can touch it with my fingers!"

I miss them both so much. But I know that it so much better for them to be with this family member.

Bittersweet.

The Stateside Guide to Expert Cruzan ...

How to speak Cruzan ... I wish that after almost six months of living in St. Croix I could say that I have become a gifted Cruzan speaker ... but I still find myself in situations where someone will have been speaking to me for several minutes, and I still have no idea what has been said. (this happens MUCH less than it once did though ... so at least there is improvement).

So to show some of what I have learned and what has been slowly sinking into my everyday vernacular here in the islands, here is a list.

Bana = one of the children's most favorite words, it means someones bum.
Cookoo= the children's second most favorite word, it means numero 2
Wha?! = literally means 'what' but it's said quickly and is usually only pronounced this way when referring to 'say what?!' situations.
Cheese and Bread! = think 'sacre bleu!' it's used to express exasperation, "How many times do I 'ave to tell da children dem to put up dem towels! Cheese and bread!!"
Clear skinned = white. sometimes people feel that calling me clear (instead of white) is more PC.
Mehsan= i.e., You can't even know de kind of day I been having, mehsan! (think Jamaican 'mon' ... only MUCH cooler).
Gey-url = Girl ... but with Cruzan pronunciation, the word becomes a lot more fun to hear ... and instead of being a boring one syllable word, it becomes a two syllable word.
Current= electricity
Bush = wilderness, untamed areas
Cornflakes = any type of cereal (just like in the states someone might say Kleenex but they really mean any kind of facial tissue).
Gongolo = red and black millipedes
Breed = to get someone pregnant, or to refer to someone pregnant, "Dat man dere, he breed her mehsan!"
Season Rice = rice made with herbs and pigeon peas mixed together
Cheetos (pronounced: cheet-os) = any kind of chip ... doritos, tortilla chips, any kind will be referred to as Cheetos.
Mash up = broken. i.e. 'Miss Molly, dis been mash up before, I not do it' to which my usual reply: "you tellin' me untruths?" (untruths = lies).
Gravy = any kind of sauce
Cus = to cuss at someone, "Miss Molly, I dun cus nobody today!" (usually said with a proud smile).
Bam! = (my little nine year old says this to me all of the time) it's a way to make fun of someone's not so funny joke ... the Cruzan version of my 'bud-a-bum schh' (fake drum thingy), i.e. my dad makes a sweet, but corny joke, my reaction would be, 'Bam!'
Pampers = any kind of diaper.
Bush tea = a type of lemon grass tea ... and some of the best tea in the world, especially considering it's made essentially from the flotsam and jetsam of people's yards.
Vex= angry; i.e. Dem children makin' me so vex!
Paté= can be made with either beef or saltfish (saltfish is best) and it's in fried pastry dough, it like fair food ... only it's AMAZING ... the only consistent place I've found to sell it is Kmart. This would make me feel silly, but people will go to Kmart just for lunch here ... it's a relatively schnazzy place.
Briss = nosy ... in someone's business (which can be quite the problem on such a small island)
Rastamon= a male member of the Rastafarian religion or a guy with long 'locks'
Locks= dreadlocks

Okay, well ... there's more ... but I'm tired of typing ... but it's been fun learning all the new vocab, and it's been surprising to me how quickly I move into using the local words for things even in my colloquial  conversations with my stateside roommates.

how much are those puppies outside my window?

Dogs. That's something that's not frequently discussed in the tourist books ... Here in St. Croix, we have a lot of dogs. Small ones, big ones, friendly ones ... but more often than not ... not so friendly ones.

A lot of people have fenced yards here, and a minimum of at least four dogs ... sometimes much more. They frequently remind me of the movie UP, and the dogs from there.

Not Doug. Awn. Doug's so cute.

These Dogs:

They are mean and scary, and threateningly bark at you as you walk by a home. Dogs in St. Croix are a part of many people's built in security systems ... and so they are trained to not be so friendly to unknown 'guests'.

Dogs, as well as other animals though run pretty wild around the island. You name it, horses, donkeys, chickens, dogs many of them seem to have free reign wherever they are, and my neighborhood is no different. Through the shear purple curtain, over one of the windows in my room, I can see a large white horse silently grazing in the bush behind my house. His tail lazily swats flies and other insects as they disturb his peaceful existence in the cool of the shaded and wild bush, just feet from my room. There's the iguana that lives in the coconut tree right outside my window who likes to bask in the warmth of the filtered sun through large coconut tree palms. And there is the momma dog and her pups who walk around our house and neighborhood like a mother duck with a following of small and easily excitable ducklings, each one prancing and rolling in the grass while still following momma wherever she leads her pups.

Their youthful nature always seems to lead a stray puppy to our front door. It is curious, and humorous to me the reaction of the mother dog, seeing as how she lives in one of the houses next door. "Now little puppy, you can stay here if you like, I'm just over here, but be back before it gets too late."

So several of her puppies have come for individual visits to our home. They come, they'll lick our fingers, take naps on the couch with us, and let us feed them a little something ... and then when night comes ... they leave our house and return home to their momma.

Living in St. Croix can just be so great. :)

Above is one of our sweet, happy, and affectionate little visitors.  Ain't she cute?!

The BIG Cuda

I have had the most wonderful several days with my brother and sister-in-law, at first it was the strangest mental thing for me. My Cruzan experiences just seem so separated from my previous Arizona life in so many ways that it was strange for me to see so much "Arizona" in my Cruzan paradigm. But after a few minutes in the back of my brother's red jeep with him driving on the left, and my hair whipping around my head in the wind ... I got used to it. ;)

The first few days were more me showing them my life, 'my' island. Sandy Point (well, as close as we got to it), Turtles, Chicken Shack, my job, Frederiksted (of course), Christiansted, the rain forest, the farm, gongolos, Rainbow, Rhythms, etc. But today has been full of firsts for me, that I got to share with my family. A trip to Point Udall, sea kayaking (with my sister-in-law as my teacher), and of course ... our Buck Island excursion.

Below are a few pictures (not taken by me or the fam though)

We went on a motorized version of this catamaran from this boardwalk to get to Buck Island

Buck Island (with St. Croix in the background)

We sat on this beach today and enjoyed the sand

The snorkeling portion of the island, with a great barrier reef

I was snorkeling, enjoying the different beautiful fish I was seeing when all of a sudden
I saw this guy's cousin (okay so not this big ... but at least three feet long), the great barracuda!
I then looked up and realized that I was really far away from everyone else ... and quickly swam
back to where I could see people. I later learned however, that while scary ...
barracuda, believe it or not, don't usually go after 5'10" fish.

Big Beard himself ... holding one of my least favorite things to find in my house,
a Cruzan centipede

 All in all ... it has just been wonderful! My roommate had to deal with a teary roommate after their exit (maybe partially induced by the fact that we don't have running water or gas in our house right now ... surprise!) but I can't wait to see them again in the fall. :)

She's Mine

Working during the day has meant a lot of changes for me ... sleeping in my bed at night for one, and doing more of the actively 'mothering' stuff with the kiddos. I was nervous about the switch and hesitant because of some drama that the other girls encountered while they were working during the day, not wanting one more thing to have to worry about. But three days in, and while it's exhausting to be mothering 6 children (including an 11 month old and an 18 month old) in the daylight hours, it is the absolute best part of this job.

pretty much ... this is me.

The newest child to become a part of our little family has been growing close to me, and becoming attached. She is 18 months old, and we'll call her Pebbles, and she cries for me when she's tired or hungry, runs to me when she's scared, and I can get her giggling faster than anyone in the cottage (plus, I taught her how to fist bump ... so obviously ... we're tight). It is tempting when you work so closely with these children to believe somehow that they are your very own ... and that you know and love them in a very special and unique way ... and while this is partially true, it is too easy to forget something very important. These children are with me for all sorts of reasons, and no matter what brought them, they all have family who love them very much.

So in the evening hours after Pebbles has had her bottle and I am holding her to my chest, singing a lullaby, in a dark room while one solitary ceiling fan rhythmically beats in tune to her deepening breaths as she repositions her head on my shoulder, I have to remember that there is someone who wishes that Pebbles was falling asleep on their shoulder.

Today we took the three boys (who when they're all together always make me think of my three little nephews in the Northwest ... even though they aren't all that similar ... excluding the youngest of my boys and the middle child of the Northwest brood ...) and Pebbles for ice cream and to meet Santa. The day was going wonderfully and I was feeding Pebbles some ice cream, when a very young woman came up to us. She first waved to Pebbles and then eyeing both her and me took a moment to consider it before bending over and giving Pebbles a kiss on the top of her head. As she stood up, my work partner asked if she knew Pebbles, and she quietly shook her head and turned and walked away crying. I looked at my work partner for a moment before getting up and following her, asking if she would like to sit with us for a while. At first she said no, and I understood so I went back to our table, but she kept watching us and after only five minutes came back.

She seemed hesitant but after showering a smiling, giggling, and glowing Pebbles with kisses and hugs, pulled her up out of the seat and held her close. She cried as she held Pebbles to her, speaking to her in Spanish and using some of Pebbles' same expressions and mannerisms (the same expressions that felt so familiar to me) as she cooed to Pebbles, and Pebbles cooed back. After a few minutes she told us that she was Pebbles' big sister. She stayed with us as long as she could, holding and loving her sister tight. Before having to make a tearful exit as both she and Pebbles cried for one another.

As she walked away I thought about what it must have felt like for her, who has loved, and I imagine done a fair amount of mothering to Pebbles her whole life ... only to have a stranger ask, "Do you know her?" My heart broke for her and her sister.

So no matter how much I love these kiddos, someone else loved them first, and continues still, even if they're only allowed to love at a distance.

Move over Durian Fruit ... there's a New Funk in Town

The other day I was doing dishes at our kitchen sink while some egg fruit (never knew about it before I moved here, and I couldn't find a picture of it) and something that we, at the time, called 'the alien egg' were ripening in the window and I noticed a decidely distinct smell.

It smelled awful. I wondered if maybe one of my roommates had thrown up in the sink because it smelled so bad. I kept doing dishes and it just wouldn't go away. The smell continued to linger no matter how much I cleaned dishes as well as the sink ... the vomit smell just continued to fill our kitchen. It was a mystery to me ... was something in the pipes? What was going on?

the 'alien egg'

A roommate was called in to help me super sleuth it, and she figured it out. It was 'the alien egg', it was the thing that produced the smell that made us wrinkle our noses and toes curl. Now before then I had always believed that the worst smelling fruit in the entire world HAD to be Durian ... it smells like feet, how could anything be worse?

I've met it's match though. Vomit smell trumps foot smell ... hello Noni fruit. 

Sorry Durian ... you're just second fiddle to the Noni's fetid nature